House on a lake with a sunset in the background.

Day #136: Always Know How to Find Your Way Home


I left him, my ex-husband. And while on the by-and-large it has been an incredible and beautiful journey of finding myself the last few years, occasionally I mourn the simplicity of yonder days.

Holidays generally bring that out in me…especially the ones without her.

It’s Easter weekend; the holiday itself has changed for me as my perspective has changed in life. But still…I didn’t buy an Easter basket or die eggs or even get any candy this year…it feels weird. I’m not really sad or angry or hurt…it just feels off…

And so these are the quiet moments I observe the inherent difficulties of divorce with child…

But I think we all have these choices we have made…self-doubts…”what ifs”…that float around in our hearts and occasionally make it to our brains…to fester and pester our best versions of ourselves…

I ran mine off today while I ran around the track…ten miles later I was able to re-frame my “I feel sad to not share this day with her” to “I’m thankful for the many days I do share with her”…for a holiday is really just a day dressed up

I held my Mama’s hand today and told her to art it out as she worried over insecurities and unrealized dreams…

We all have the “demons” who love to come play…I think it is our obligation to our self to first know our true self and secondly know where to find yourself again…for me it’s often outside and active…for my mom it is often birthed on a canvas…

Whatever it takes, gentle readers, I urge you…be comfortable and familiar in your own soul and always know how to find your way home…

“House On The Lake” by Evgeni Dinev courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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Rachel Olienyk

I'm mother, wife, and worker but most important human. I have accepted a challenge to "take a walk" everyday for one year. My goal is in giving space to mindfulness I will create intentional living. I've decided to share my journey through blogging. Be it peace, be it inspiration, be it annoyance, I hope you feel as you read and in feeling may growth transpire. Namaste my gentle readers...