Valentine’s Day… a day for romance and love… sweetness and hearts… passion…
And running. Today was our first long run (to me) at 8 miles. We had our little love this weekend so we asked Mimi to keep her while we ran (it was an awesome date, lol). We took off and about two miles in I was wiped out… thanks to different trails and gear… my passion for running was at its lowest and if I had been alone in the run I would have walked away for the day. But I wasn’t, so I didn’t. I trudged through… and as with most things… the endurance paid off and I picked up a second wind… I ended the 8 miles running although I could not run it all… it was a start… and it felt good to finish what I started… to taste the victory.
I thought about this as I ran… I thought on passion and how passion demands you to be all in… no sitting on fences, no pretending to be unbiased. I realized that I often fear becoming too passionate about anything or anyone because that requires me to become vested in how things turn out. On the one hand, I like this about me. In my job, it becomes important to give space for people to do their own work. If a counselor becomes too enmeshed it becomes difficult and often unethical. However, in my personal life, I find this is also a trend. If I don’t care too much, it won’t hurt if I fail, if the friendship fails, if the plans fall through.
The problem becomes that living without passion about anything means also living without profound joy, the taste of victory, the pounding heart of pride, the hot passion surging through your bones. So maybe I save myself a degree of pain, soreness, and possible defeat, but I also never know the sweetness of eight miles done and the lightness of victory at hand.
I hope through this journey that 2015 becomes my year to learn the impractical necessity of living passionately.