Day 142 — It’s the Little Things

I was reminded that today it is the little things…friends to take walks with…good conversation…hearts found in quiet places…and chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert…

I love living in my day as if it is the only day that matters…my life is so much fuller this way…thankful for this Friday and all that it has offered me…

Why I Need Buddhism

Buddhism is religion based in action rather than belief. It is practical rather than intellectual, as is reflected in the metaphor the Buddha used of the man shot by an arrow. Humanity is like the man, wounded by an arrow, and the arrow is dukkha. Intellectual pursuits over practical application would be akin to hesitating to withdraw the arrow before you find out what kind of wood it was made out of, who shot the arrow, and at what angle the arrow entered your body. What matters most in that moment is getting medical help—the healing dharma found through meditation, not philosophical speculation.

-Arnie Kozak

 

I Feel Married to the Keyboard

These past few weeks have seen many long nights. My sleep schedule is…well, isn’t. It’s quite sporadic. And while I know that this has potentially poor outcomes for my health, I keep pressing on. Why? Because it is only for a season. Mrs. Meander and I throw this phrase around a lot in our home. “It’s only for a season.”

It’s worth it. It’s valuable. It’s an experience.

And…it’s exhausting.

But my saving grace amidst all these changes has been my inner sanctuary. That place I can go to in spite of demands, noise, disturbances. It’s my home. It’s the reason people practice mindfulness. It’s my inner Buddha.

Speaking of Buddha, that was one smart fellow.

Stop chasing things, quit obsessing about outcomes, pay attention.

This world has a bountiful wealth of experiences to be had, but we can prevent ourselves form truly enjoying it all if we allow our run-away minds to taint the simple experience of being.

Just be with the experiences.
Painful
Joyous
Fresh
Stale
Unique
Routine…

To fully experience each moment as it is, withholding (or at least recognizing) the inner critic that wants to make assessments of everything. Observe the voice. It’s just a voice. It’s not really even your true voice. It’s the mind processing, remembering, trying to make meaning. Take control.

It’s worth it, I think.

photo credit: Typewriter Keys (say Qwerty). via photopin (license)

Day #141: A Love Poem

His strength secures me,
His sexiness thrills me,
His intelligence stimulates me,
His love overwhelms me,
But it is his gentleness that sustains me.
It is like a hand at the small of the back–quiet, unassuming, but always supporting.
I love the gentle kindness that illuminates crystal blue eyes,
That hugs away the stress,
That seeks to share, and at times, shoulder my burden for me.
I love the way he gently uses words
To teach,
To soothe,
To exalt.
But never to harm.
There is so very, very much to love about him.
But it is his gentleness that anchors this heart to him.
Any my heart is his forever…

Day #140: Sometimes Frozen Yogurt is a Spiritual Experience

She placed her hand in mine as we walked from her school to the truck, “Are we going to Goody’s?”

“Of course,” I smile, “It’s play practice day.”

Sometimes routines are nice, I think, especially ones that include frozen yogurt! But honestly, it all felt so good…the familiarity of this afternoon.

We went to the gym after dropping her off, and cross trained. I did a newer elliptical machine for 45 minutes. It was different, so different, from running. I had no pressure on my knees, my shins didn’t feel like they were on fire, and my lungs were operating with the wheeze breathing that often accompanies me on a run. And I giggled to myself as I realized, “Different is okay too.”

Life really is an oxymoron. Just when you think you have it all figured out, a curve ball comes and you haven’t a clue what to do with it! Sometimes it curves toward you, hits you square in the shin, and hurts like hell. Other times, you swing at it anyway, make a solid connection, and knock it out of the park. The aliveness comes in the breath in between the knowing…the dash where hope clashes with reality and we hide our face but peek between our fingers, because in all honesty…we need to know what happens when our familiar grinds against the unknown…it is both thrilling and terrifying–but it’s all the business of living…

“Close Up Strawberry Ice Cream” by rakratchada torsap via http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Day #139: Adulthood is Hard on Friendship

Today I rested and relaxed with a friend. A friend who has been around for a while. Who knows my stories and the emotions that guard them. Who makes me laugh and has heard me cry. Who is honest and in turn I can also be authentically me…without apology.

As we caught up tonight…I glowed inwardly with pleasure of her company…the sweet reminder of friendship…

The evening was perfect, the breeze soothing, and Love was planting flowers and interjecting his own comedies and tragedies…

It was so nice. *sigh*

Why are friendships so hard to maintain as an adult?

Because at 8:01 I became a pumpkin. Little love came home and we had pjs and snacks and bedtime routines before school and work in the morning.

But I savor the moments porch sitting with two of the bestest best friends I have ever had…until next time

Day #138: Strength is Beauty and Sometimes Your Legs Fall Off

Today we ran five miles…a maintenance run at this point in our training…I huffed and puffed a little…had some water…and cranked it out in about an hour…like its no big deal…

Little love got a new bike today. Her old bike was WAY too small and so let her pick out a new one for Easter. She was SO excited and wanted to immediately ride it to Mimi’s house to show it off.

Oh how she struggled…up the hills was hard, steering was “iffy”, and I about had a heart attach every time she almost didn’t stop. She was a little discouraged and a lot tired by the time we got back home.

I reminded her…”remember when Craigy and I first started running?” She nodded her head, “I could barely go a mile without feeling like my legs were going to fall off!” She giggled a little, “But now we can run 12 miles without stopping!” She looked at me like ‘Get to the point, lady.’ “You practice riding your bike like we practice running and you will be going all over in no time!”

Later, I hear her reporting to her Craigy, “I just have to practice so I can get strong legs.”

And that, dear friends, is why I run, why strength is beauty, and health is vibrant…because I have one little human that sees all that I do and trusts that it is good enough for her too…

Day #137: I See Hope All Around

Easter…holds so much hope for some…and for me as well…just differently…

Where some find hope in a man god who saved them…

I see hope all around in the certainty of life springing from the decay of winter…I see certainty in the promise of ordered seasons…I find comfort in the gentle life and death cycle all around that is the circle of life…

Nothing here needs saving…or defies laws…or is fantastical in story…it is simply doing what it does…

It’s birthing…
It’s blooming…
It’s growing…and alive…

I took a walk with little love and came across a small tree that bloomed completely white on one side and completely purple on the other…it reminded of the yin and yang of energy…and because my mind was already there…it reminded of death plays into life plays into death once more…and really, who gets to decide which is better?

They both serve a purpose and are necessary all across nature and science…
So today I celebrate life, too…the order of it…the purpose in it…and the beauty all around…
Maybe it is not as profound as my old Easters with a risen king and a golden heaven…
But I can see it and touch it and taste it…and that is all I need...

“Rabbit And Easter Eggs In Green Grass” by jannoon028 courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net