Day #107: The Time You Enjoy Wasting, Is Not Wasted Time

Friday… that is such an amazing word… it always fills my heart with the joy of freedom and the hope of sleeping in!

And after an intense few days of caring for the mostly-better little love, it was a slight relief to drop her at her father’s house. They had extra-special things planned this weekend so I knew she would be happy and exhausted come Sunday when she came home.

My Love and I went to the gym and ran our five miles, we took a dip in the therapy pool (warm temps feel amazing on sore muscles), we went to dinner with his parents, we came home and snuggled and read and just relaxed. It was nothing and it was amazing all rolled into one…

As we were talking to his parents about future plans… at one point his mom quietly stated, “Don’t wait till retirement to do what you love.” And I realized, while there are, of course, goals and experiences we long for, these lazy nights are perfect. Holding hands, his scent in my nose, good conversations, tangled up as we read… no matter where life takes us… us is enough… and that is both rare and amazing.

Day #49

Sometimes I get frustrated with myself. Today I had several opportunities to walk. I did not take them because it was below freezing pretty much all day and I didn’t want to freeze my tail.

There I said it … I’m a cold weather pansy.

Rationally I know I will warm up as my blood starts pumping. I know I will feel better if I set myself in motion. I know I would not regret doing it because I never do.
But it’s just so hard to push through the initial shock of cold. The pain in my ears. The stiffening of my back as I shiver.

And today, my cowardliness won. The fear of the uncomfortableness kept me frozen to my chair. I could not see past my immediate pain to see the possibility of future reward.
And as my Love and I sat in a warm coffee shop drinking hot tea, we discussed future decisions. How to move toward certain goals.

And I realized life is so much like taking a walk; it’s hard to get the momentum started. It’s difficult to push past the pain of complacency. I often get stuck in my idea of things, finding it difficult to make the decision and just DO something for fear of doing the wrong thing.

We talk ourselves in circles, my Love and I, but today we decided on some doing. And it felt good.

Tomorrow, I will decide to walk. Cold, or no cold.

A sundog visibile in the icy clouds on a crisp January morning in Arkansas.