Day 115: Now is the Time to Thrive

This morning I looked out the kitchen and was pleasantly surprised to find new growth in my very dead-looking strawberry pots. They have sat out all fall and winter with no protection and I was sure they would all be completely un-salvageable. But look at this little guy, beating all the odds, and growing anyway…

I was dreading the run today. It was ten miles but due to the rain, rain, and more rain… we were doing it in a humid gym… staring at the wall from the treadmill or running small circles (14 of them makes a mile so you can do the math on the ten mile mark!) was less than appealing… but ready or not here I go!

I broke it up into two mile increments hoping that would trick my brain. Two miles on the track, two miles on the treadmill, one mile walking, two miles on the treadmill, two miles on the track, one mile walking. Roughly two hours later, I finished…

People ask me frequently, “How do you do it?” The honest answer is “one foot at a time.” But as I ran today, I thought about my little sprig of strawberry plant at home. How it has defied all odds to survive and now thrive again. And I imagined that this is my season too, my season to run, my season of strong, my season to thrive

Day #111: At Some Point, Growth Happens

Today I cross-trained… I took on Jillian Michaels in one of her 30 days to awesomeness. Honestly, I thought I would kill the 20 minute workout. I mean, I had run for two hours just a few days ago… surely I could hang in there for 20 minutes… I was wrong… so wrong–and three days later (yes, I’m behind on my writing… don’t judge me!) I’m still sore!

So I’m still not ready for the Iron Man I guess… but baby steps, right?

Today I also watched a client of mine put together a learning game. He did it mostly by himself… identifying the numbers, counting the objects, and matching them. He told me what all the pictures were and ordered the numbers from smallest to biggest. It was inspirational to watch because not even a year ago he was barely talking. And some where between the months and months of parents advocating, speech therapist talking, occupational therapist teaching, and play therapist (that’s me) engaging… he has taken a million baby steps to blossom into this bright, curious, affectionate little boy.

I rarely get to see the results of the work I do with these kids so clearly and I most assuredly cannot take much of the credit for his beautiful growth but as I sat alone with him in a small room listening to him chatter away about the pictures and the numbers I could not stop the tears from spilling over.

Every little step leads somewhere, my sweet friends, where are you headed?

Day #106: Don’t Blink, the Present is Becoming the Past

I was abruptly woken up at 5am by a little love complaining about her tummy hurting. Initially, I was very disappointed about being awake so early on a snow day but the next thing I knew we were running for the bathroom. And that pretty well summed up the rest of my day…

Finally about 4:00pm, after medicine and a nap, her stomach seemed to stop waging war with her. For some reason as she began to feel better, she got in her head she wanted to look at pictures. So we got out the baby books (yes, plural, she is the first!). As we looked and talked and laughed and sat side by side, I felt such nostalgia but such pride too.

What once was so little now is so strong… so helpless–now screams with independence… she has developed such intelligence, creativity, and personality… she is becoming right now… learning who she is and deciding what she likes and dislikes… she is beautiful in so many vibrant ways.

But I mourn too… the squishy and the toothless grins… being able to snuggle and dress her without her opinion about either… I miss watching her learn to walk and talk… I miss the mispronounced words and the squeaky voice… I miss the littlest versions of her.

I stayed up after she was asleep and looked through hundreds of digital pictures… remembering… reliving… re-loving that girl that I have always seemed to grow, first physically and now emotionally and intellectually…

Don’t blink, gentle readers, or the present most certainly becomes the past…

A girl sleeping in a colorful bed.

Day #103: “Oh, The Places You Will Go!”

I feel unsure about life right now. There are choices to be made, things to be accomplished, lessons I am learning. Today I ended up running staffing because my boss couldn’t be there, another therapist is gone, and suddenly I am up to bat.

 

I did my third video for my supervision class which is a whole new role for me. I am loving the opportunity to work closer with other therapist but it’s a lot of information to take in and then I have to go back before the Board of Counselors which is nerve wrecking.

 

I ran three miles today instead of the six the training program scheduled and then bicycled four more miles because I’m learning the importance of cross training.

 

Today I see concrete proof that I am choosing to continue to evolve as a person. That sits well with me. I see how far I have to go and how much I don’t know, but I can also evaluate where I am and honestly say, “Look how I’ve grown.

 

This makes me happy because if all I get is this one short life, I want to squeeze every last bit of living out of it. And for me that means being ready for any new me in any new experience…

 

In honor of Dr Seuss’s birthday week… I will put it this way…

 

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

 

From Oh! The Places You Will Go

 Blonde girl with mouth wide open singing.

Day #81: Comfortably the Same, Tantalizingly Different

Today was surreal. I was in Albuquerque. I lived here for two years. And Adalie happened to be born while I was here… I got to show my Love the apartments we lived in, the mall I often frequented, and introduced him to several of my friends and co-workers at a late lunch. It was fun to listen to conversations all around because several of them had moved on and everyone was catching up on the who and what and where…

cottonwood-mallIt’s incredibly grounding to see how people change and don’t change in the space of time. I have this distinct memory of my experience at this school doing this job as a team with these teachers. And in a lot of ways I have frozen pictures of this time in my brain. Frozen moments, snapshots of events, whispers of feelings that tinge my recollections. I look around at the table… at personalities that still shine through, at physical features that remain true to memory, but I see growth, too. I see depth that wasn’t there, courage showing through in who they have become, and I feel so proud of these souls who have continued to evolve… some despite… others because of… but we all showed up a delicious mixture of being comfortably the same and tantalizing differentA man in a black hat and beautiful brunette woman drinking yellow Boba tea together in a mall.

This was also my experience with some of my favorites in Albuquerque… the BLT with egg I had so adored at Flying Star… very different although not bad… the Boba Tea in the mall I was addicted to… comfortingly the same and still just as decadent.