Day 144 – When I Run Alone, I Prefer to be By Myself

Today I had a revelation: it’s only when I’m alone that I can focus on me. As I ran twelve miles today, I thought about why I prefer to run alone. My Love is always there but usually way ahead of me and I prefer it that way…

Today I realized why…I am a natural empathizer…I feel this makes me a solid friend, a good mom, and a caring wife…but not so good at being in tune with myself…

If anyone else is around, I immediately tune in to them instead. For the most part this is all good for me. However, when I am struggling emotionally or physically, I tend to want to be alone, although others want to support me and I love them for that. I find that in alone is the only place I can truly find me without being influenced.

Maybe I am a bit of an introvert after all…mind blown 🙂

Day #134: The Race is On, but Sometimes One Must Stand Still

Today I ran five miles. It was extremely humid and I have not (for whatever reason) had my best runs this week…my heart is full of emotions about my present life and my mind is in overdrive with everything that has to be done (but more about that at a later date).

This slow, determined, measured run reminded me of my life right now. I am feeling overwhelmed which generally makes me feel less motivated…with every new bill, project, and responsibility that stacks up, I dig a little further back into myself. I guess this is where the introvert comes out in me…

I’m working hard to break down the huge into small steps…trying to take a few each day…but the race seems to be running in all directions and I stand paralyzed with indecision about which way to go…

The gun has sounded though…and so begins my slow, determined stride…hopefully in the right direction! 

Day #104: Some Days are Way Too Much

I am having an introverted day and even the thought of sharing my thoughts and feelings here feels like too much energy.

 
I ran another 5 miles today. Struggled through some, soared through a little. Mostly I hated the loud music in my ears but needed the tempo to keep me going. The lights in the gym were so bright and people were everywhere. It was taxing in more ways than one…

 
My little love came home from her dad’s house and said so many words in the first five minutes I thought I might completely lose it. But managed to successfully navigate her to bed without sticking socks in my ears… or her mouth

 
Another load of laundry… another dishwasher full of dishes… now to put away the laundry and take a shower…

 
Then into my blissfully dark and silent bed with my Love in his solid weight and warmth against me… and that will by far be my favorite part of this “way too much” day…

 
Good night my gentle readers…