Day #140: Sometimes Frozen Yogurt is a Spiritual Experience

She placed her hand in mine as we walked from her school to the truck, “Are we going to Goody’s?”

“Of course,” I smile, “It’s play practice day.”

Sometimes routines are nice, I think, especially ones that include frozen yogurt! But honestly, it all felt so good…the familiarity of this afternoon.

We went to the gym after dropping her off, and cross trained. I did a newer elliptical machine for 45 minutes. It was different, so different, from running. I had no pressure on my knees, my shins didn’t feel like they were on fire, and my lungs were operating with the wheeze breathing that often accompanies me on a run. And I giggled to myself as I realized, “Different is okay too.”

Life really is an oxymoron. Just when you think you have it all figured out, a curve ball comes and you haven’t a clue what to do with it! Sometimes it curves toward you, hits you square in the shin, and hurts like hell. Other times, you swing at it anyway, make a solid connection, and knock it out of the park. The aliveness comes in the breath in between the knowing…the dash where hope clashes with reality and we hide our face but peek between our fingers, because in all honesty…we need to know what happens when our familiar grinds against the unknown…it is both thrilling and terrifying–but it’s all the business of living…

“Close Up Strawberry Ice Cream” by rakratchada torsap via http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Day #137: I See Hope All Around

Easter…holds so much hope for some…and for me as well…just differently…

Where some find hope in a man god who saved them…

I see hope all around in the certainty of life springing from the decay of winter…I see certainty in the promise of ordered seasons…I find comfort in the gentle life and death cycle all around that is the circle of life…

Nothing here needs saving…or defies laws…or is fantastical in story…it is simply doing what it does…

It’s birthing…
It’s blooming…
It’s growing…and alive…

I took a walk with little love and came across a small tree that bloomed completely white on one side and completely purple on the other…it reminded of the yin and yang of energy…and because my mind was already there…it reminded of death plays into life plays into death once more…and really, who gets to decide which is better?

They both serve a purpose and are necessary all across nature and science…
So today I celebrate life, too…the order of it…the purpose in it…and the beauty all around…
Maybe it is not as profound as my old Easters with a risen king and a golden heaven…
But I can see it and touch it and taste it…and that is all I need...

“Rabbit And Easter Eggs In Green Grass” by jannoon028 courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Day #91: Variety is the Spice of Life

Variety is the spice of life, don’t you think?

Today was cross training and it was nice to do something other then pound, pound, pound the pavement (or treadmill).

We picked our little love up from play practice and went and ate at a different restaurant than usual and it was really yummy.

The little love was extremely pleasant and content all evening… putting on pjs without a fuss and brushing her teeth without moping and whining. It felt the the twilight zone but in a much more awesome way.

I got into bed and contemplated the day. I am a rare bird that loves change. I see the benefits of stability, certainly; but big change does not scare me. I always think to myself, “It’ll work out; it always does.” And that has been mostly true for me. Now I wonder if it’s because I feel that way that it does OR that the fact that it does makes me feel that way. Either way, I know this, change… variety… new scenery makes me smile.

And I really love that about me…

Venison with a Side of Exhaustion

The Mrs. wrote a short post today about relief. You can read it here, if you didn’t get here through those means.

Relief can come in different ways at times. Sometimes, it’s a relief to have fears confirmed, because at least there is closure. Other times, it’s a relief to find out there is nothing to worry about. I took a walk today, for the Mrs, and as I walked I considered the leaves under my feet, the scents in the air, and I observed the random thoughts that flooded my mind when I let down my guard.

I walked to the Mrs.’s mother’s house to fetch an armload of venison that was to be prepared for when she got home from her very long day of counseling, teaching, and foster-care interviewing. I considered the warm welcome I got when walking into “Mimi’s” home. Two smiling faces, welcoming me with cheer. Two happy dogs eager to receive my affection. Oh, and an arm-full of assorted venison.

As I departed, my heart was full with this thought: Home is a beautiful thing. It knows no geographical location, nor is it limited by any physical constraints. Home is where they love you.

The walk home was filled with thoughts of all that needed to be done. Anxieties were fully felt, and I allowed them to pass by. Again I focused on yellow tree leaves under my feet, the smell of burning wood in fireplaces, and the bite of the cold on my lips.

I acknowledged the perfection in nature.

I appreciated the work those trees did in producing that leaf that now lies dead up the blacktop. I appreciated the scent of smoke from the trees that now serve a different purpose. In those few moments, I chose also to appreciate myself and those around me.

Why? Because I’m actually alive. And in choosing to appreciate, I’m choosing to acknowledge the incredible work that goes into even one element of order in this world. One successful relationship, one completed project, one well-deserved evening of exhaustion.

And as the Mrs. and I ate our venison and veggies, we appreciated the light cast from our Christmas tree. We appreciated the savory flavors and aromas from our meal. And most of all, we appreciated the presence of a fellow world-worn sojourner.

We found life in our shared experience… of exhaustion.