Day #106: Don’t Blink, the Present is Becoming the Past

I was abruptly woken up at 5am by a little love complaining about her tummy hurting. Initially, I was very disappointed about being awake so early on a snow day but the next thing I knew we were running for the bathroom. And that pretty well summed up the rest of my day…

Finally about 4:00pm, after medicine and a nap, her stomach seemed to stop waging war with her. For some reason as she began to feel better, she got in her head she wanted to look at pictures. So we got out the baby books (yes, plural, she is the first!). As we looked and talked and laughed and sat side by side, I felt such nostalgia but such pride too.

What once was so little now is so strong… so helpless–now screams with independence… she has developed such intelligence, creativity, and personality… she is becoming right now… learning who she is and deciding what she likes and dislikes… she is beautiful in so many vibrant ways.

But I mourn too… the squishy and the toothless grins… being able to snuggle and dress her without her opinion about either… I miss watching her learn to walk and talk… I miss the mispronounced words and the squeaky voice… I miss the littlest versions of her.

I stayed up after she was asleep and looked through hundreds of digital pictures… remembering… reliving… re-loving that girl that I have always seemed to grow, first physically and now emotionally and intellectually…

Don’t blink, gentle readers, or the present most certainly becomes the past…

A girl sleeping in a colorful bed.

Day #72

My Love and I have a “game” we play. It’s called “Remember that time…

We’ll think of fun time, silly time, or really big time…

“Remember that time we went to Kansas City for your birthday and got tattoos?”

“Remember that time we went to New York for Christmas and it snowed while we watched the light show?”

“Remember that time we went to Yellowstone and hiked all day so then we got tipsy off one glass of wine?”

Remember that time… it’s a favorite of mine…


In my efforts to live presently I most often berate myself for living too much in the future. As I’ve mentioned before, my Love and I are dreamers and always planning our next move in life. But this game as helped me see I live in the past, at times, too…

And I’m beginning to wonder…

If the balance isn’t the place in-between. Where intentional daily living produces a life you love so much you don’t mind reliving it in memory. That my today is a beautiful yesterday leading me to my brightest tomorrows.

Today we cross-trained, Wednesday we rested, tomorrow we run. It is what must happen to create the race experience we desire. Maybe the same is true in life… maybe we have to dabble in yesterday to create today in order to embrace tomorrow

…maybe the balance is there in that in-between.

A blonde girl with a blue bow peering of into the distance while her food sits in front of her.
Waiting anxiously for the first sight of the best friend.