Day #104: Some Days are Way Too Much

I am having an introverted day and even the thought of sharing my thoughts and feelings here feels like too much energy.

 
I ran another 5 miles today. Struggled through some, soared through a little. Mostly I hated the loud music in my ears but needed the tempo to keep me going. The lights in the gym were so bright and people were everywhere. It was taxing in more ways than one…

 
My little love came home from her dad’s house and said so many words in the first five minutes I thought I might completely lose it. But managed to successfully navigate her to bed without sticking socks in my ears… or her mouth

 
Another load of laundry… another dishwasher full of dishes… now to put away the laundry and take a shower…

 
Then into my blissfully dark and silent bed with my Love in his solid weight and warmth against me… and that will by far be my favorite part of this “way too much” day…

 
Good night my gentle readers…

Day #69

I chose to be in-tune with myself today. I was proud because I often veto the small voice of reason and push on, despite. It’s a double-edge characteristic, I feel.

I have a theory that all people think, do, and feel. But when they are faced with a dilemma or a decision, they tend to do all three of these in the same repeated pattern. For instance, my Love is a thinker-feeler-doer. He needs to study it out, look at it from every perspective, research it again. Then he goes internal: how does he feel about this decision? What does his intuition say? Then he cross-analyzes and finally… does. Me, on the other hand, I’m a thinker, doer, then feeler, more often than not. It’s not that I suppress, I just forget to check in with myself. So if it’s logical and needs to be done, I make a decision and I do. It’s part of the reason I chose to write everyday. It forces me to reflect …

Anyway, I was proud that today I remembered (perhaps due to all the writing?). My calves were still hurting, I need new shoes, and my little love was missing her mama. So today was a rest day … a replenish the soul day … a snuggle my baby before she’s all grown day …

And it felt good …

A blonde, female child asleep on the couch with rosy cheeks and her arm draped behind her head.

Day #56

Wednesday is REST day. I have never been so happy to see that word.
It’s kinda a joke because I still “mama”ed, worked, and taught class tonight.
But no pressure to run…so there’s that!

Here’s to day of rest, my friends, whatever that may look like for you.

Legs in a bubble bath with painted red toes resting upon the faucet.

Day #11

I love finding grace in unexpected places. Not a self-imposed deity kind of abstract grace; but rather, a tangible human-hand kind of grace.

The sincere “It’s okay, Mama,” when I goof.

The generous back rub after a stressful day.

The enthusiasm over a simple breakfast for supper.

Unshaven legs.

Forgotten appointments.

Mismanaged time.

Pimpled faces.

Extended dead lines.

I saw broken grace from broken humans all around me. The tears of understanding. The statement of forgiveness. The heart that continues to love, despite hurt.

I saw it all today, gentle readers. And now I request your grace… for I did not walk today. I chose instead to advocate for two young clients, to mindfully connect with my Love, to dine with the princess.

An orange sunset set agains the snow-scattered Tetons, overlooking Jackson Lake.It was cold and rainy and dark all day… I’m extending grace to the sky… resting in the beauty of the pause… for tomorrow is a new day.