She placed her hand in mine as we walked from her school to the truck, “Are we going to Goody’s?”
“Of course,” I smile, “It’s play practice day.”
Sometimes routines are nice, I think, especially ones that include frozen yogurt! But honestly, it all felt so good…the familiarity of this afternoon.
We went to the gym after dropping her off, and cross trained. I did a newer elliptical machine for 45 minutes. It was different, so different, from running. I had no pressure on my knees, my shins didn’t feel like they were on fire, and my lungs were operating with the wheeze breathing that often accompanies me on a run. And I giggled to myself as I realized, “Different is okay too.”
Life really is an oxymoron. Just when you think you have it all figured out, a curve ball comes and you haven’t a clue what to do with it! Sometimes it curves toward you, hits you square in the shin, and hurts like hell. Other times, you swing at it anyway, make a solid connection, and knock it out of the park. The aliveness comes in the breath in between the knowing…the dash where hope clashes with reality and we hide our face but peek between our fingers, because in all honesty…we need to know what happens when our familiar grinds against the unknown…it is both thrilling and terrifying–but it’s all the business of living…
“Close Up Strawberry Ice Cream” by rakratchada torsap via http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
Today is Monday. It’s a short week for us because we are going on vacation Thursday!
I love to anticipate…the nervous excitement of looking forward to an experience…the flurry of activity as one prepares…but mostly the promise of a good time that floats on just outside of the routine-ness of the day.
For the first time ever I felt this way about running today. As I sat through sessions and meetings and paperwork, my body itched in anticipation of the run we were planning that afternoon. We had our rest day yesterday so I guess that gave my body and mind time to long for the exertion and mental clarity I always seem to achieve after a run.
Traveling does much the same thing for my soul. There are elements of it that are fatiguing: the planning, the driving, and figuring out where we can eat (due to allergies). But any headache is well worth the clarity of perception. I love seeing other people live, to be reminded that there is no “right or wrong” way to be, but all kind of ways of being. And the tapestry of that experience is colorful and intricate. But whereas I found beauty in our differences, I find comfort in our sameness. I never travel without being reminded of the connective-ness of everyone. While I am one small fish in the ocean, I am a part of the larger ecosystem of the thriving cosmos.
So yes, anticipation which can feel some like anxiety, much like excitement, being wrapped in impatience with a bow of nervousness.
It’s one of my favorite feelings because it means something wonderful is about to happen!
Today I biked while cross training and walked the gym track a few times. It felt good to do something different, work different muscles, try a different routine. I felt energized and content afterwards …
Adalie doesn’t have school tomorrow so we did something different. We snuggled up in our king-size bed and watched a movie together. The three of us … snug as a bug in a rug.
Adalie loved it, as she flipped flopped back and forth between the two of us, educating us about the movie, because she had seen it before. She finally settled in and eventually fell asleep.
It was a special moment. So much love and peace in a new experience.
It made me laugh to myself how often we avoid changing our routines, our routes, our traditions. We hold on to things desperately because we don’t know if we would like it differently. And what really makes me laugh out loud is that we hold to ways, to people, to jobs, to ideas that we don’t even like because what if we change it and like it even less?!
But what if we change and it’s marvelous?
What about that?