Day #104: Some Days are Way Too Much

I am having an introverted day and even the thought of sharing my thoughts and feelings here feels like too much energy.

 
I ran another 5 miles today. Struggled through some, soared through a little. Mostly I hated the loud music in my ears but needed the tempo to keep me going. The lights in the gym were so bright and people were everywhere. It was taxing in more ways than one…

 
My little love came home from her dad’s house and said so many words in the first five minutes I thought I might completely lose it. But managed to successfully navigate her to bed without sticking socks in my ears… or her mouth

 
Another load of laundry… another dishwasher full of dishes… now to put away the laundry and take a shower…

 
Then into my blissfully dark and silent bed with my Love in his solid weight and warmth against me… and that will by far be my favorite part of this “way too much” day…

 
Good night my gentle readers…

Day #68

I hobbled through three miles today … I think I may be getting shin splints … it was the most painful run on the books so far but I was able to finish it. And in finishing it, I was able to find the beauty of discipline … discipline creates in its own time … it’s creates strength in the soreness … completion in the chaos … peace in the stressful … love in the face of feeling wronged.

We exercise a lot of discipline everyday .. well most of us do … in what we do, say, eat, work, create … and sometimes I forget that in the discipline there is a choosing … I feel dictated at times by the demands, the to-do lists, even the laundry piles … but I am the one who really creates with my decision to disciple myself … toward a half-marathon, a more knowledgeable teacher and counselor, and even an organized office and house. And, at least for me, when I do accomplish, when I see tangible results of a good run, paperwork caught up, grading done, and fresh laundry on the couch I feel good about who I have chosen to be. Industrious, yes. Continuously growing, forever. But always, always choosing and that reminder today felt good!

Day #60

“Wait for me!” I yelled to my small child’s back.

We were walking home from Mimi’s house and she had decided to run. I wanted to run but had a bag, a purse, and pants that wouldn’t stay up.

So I walked, hoping she wouldn’t get hit by a car.

And I thought, this is very symbolic of how I feel about my life lately … bogged down with stuff, ill-equipped for the moment, and half a mile behind — always.

But you know what I figured out today, dear readers?

You get there anyway. In your own time, with strong legs, and no need to struggle to breathe … you get there — and everything is just fine when you do.