Day 113: Pat Yourself on the Back

I dropped something on my foot yesterday and today it looks terrible. The whole top of my foot is bruised, swollen, and generally extremely painful-looking. But in actuality, it doesn’t really hurt. I rested today just to be sure there were no major injuries but I am fairly certain its bark is far worse than its bite.

I am feeling unsettled about plans and future and security. The logistics of change are much scarier to me than change its self. And I’m trying to remember that just as with my grotesque looking foot that it easy to look at something and it seem a much bigger deal than it is.

I have had a lot of change in my adult life and I have survived it all. It was always scary in the in-between but it has always worked itself out and usually to my advantage.

So here’s to bruised lives… colorful, sensitive and reflective of the active, risk taker that always chooses life. And here’s to discomfort without prolonged pain because it teaches us we are stronger than we know.

And finally, here’s to us, gentle reader, for trying at all…

A very swollen and bruised foot.

Day #103: “Oh, The Places You Will Go!”

I feel unsure about life right now. There are choices to be made, things to be accomplished, lessons I am learning. Today I ended up running staffing because my boss couldn’t be there, another therapist is gone, and suddenly I am up to bat.


I did my third video for my supervision class which is a whole new role for me. I am loving the opportunity to work closer with other therapist but it’s a lot of information to take in and then I have to go back before the Board of Counselors which is nerve wrecking.


I ran three miles today instead of the six the training program scheduled and then bicycled four more miles because I’m learning the importance of cross training.


Today I see concrete proof that I am choosing to continue to evolve as a person. That sits well with me. I see how far I have to go and how much I don’t know, but I can also evaluate where I am and honestly say, “Look how I’ve grown.


This makes me happy because if all I get is this one short life, I want to squeeze every last bit of living out of it. And for me that means being ready for any new me in any new experience…


In honor of Dr Seuss’s birthday week… I will put it this way…


“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”


From Oh! The Places You Will Go

 Blonde girl with mouth wide open singing.

Day #18

“Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

A cloud-speckled sunset over dormant trees, with a path to the left, leading off into the horizon.
We walk along and “shoot the breeze” and hold hands and just be…

The inevitable comes up… the future… our plans… what to do… who to be… finances… stability vs. dreams… confusion, angst, uncertainty…

We are dreamers! he and I… and I adore it about us. We go on long treks across the U.S. in an RV. We travel to Ireland at Christmas and China, just because. We own land and have a small hobby farm. We have successful online careers that allow us to come and go as we please… In our dreams

Some days it’s a burden on my bones. Because I talk of all the things we could do, should do, would do–and I become so discontent with where we are NOW.

I shake my head a little and we keep walking. I notice a cat and a sunset and a warm hand wrapped around mine. And for now, it is simply enough… until we dream again…A tabby cat looking mischieviously up from the bottom of a concrete drainage ditch in dusk lighting.