Blue globe lights in a front yard on a cold winter's night.

Day #51

Today I felt like I spent a lot of time avoiding the grasp of anticipation. There are a couple of opportunities that have come up that I “think” would be ideal. But I am uncertain if I will even get the chance to make my case as the best candidate. In neither of the situations do I feel much control. But I desire them both greatly.

Isn’t it funny how we can be so convinced of the idea of something that we have not yet even known.

And so I am fighting attachment, dear readers, attachment to an idea about how I want things to be. Furthermore, that smells a whole lot like expectation and that seems to breed rigidity.

I walked after dark with my Love, hand-in-hand. He directed our walk and I gladly accepted his guidance. I felt a little lost and overwhelmed from the pull of the tide today. We walked slowly and quietly as I worked to still my inner turmoil and tornado of thoughts. I centered on his hand in mine, the sound of my feet hitting pavement, and the cold on my nose.

I became grounded in the tangible, the real, the present.

And in those moments, I was able to truly let go of all that I cannot control and just be my present self, wholly.

It felt good; it felt right.

And I became calm and flexible again.
Sure we have ideas and goals and hopes and wishes. But I will not become attached to how they will happen.

“Now they’re blue,” he says beside me.

The lights at a particular house. They change regularly and it’s always fun to see what’s going to happen next.

I like the way this guy rolls,” my Love continues.

Me too … may I always see the thrill in the lights that lead the way and may I always know the joy in the unexpected changing.

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Rachel Olienyk

I'm mother, wife, and worker but most important human. I have accepted a challenge to "take a walk" everyday for one year. My goal is in giving space to mindfulness I will create intentional living. I've decided to share my journey through blogging. Be it peace, be it inspiration, be it annoyance, I hope you feel as you read and in feeling may growth transpire. Namaste my gentle readers...

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