Days 120-130: Spring Break and Big Decisions

It’s been a crazy mixed up world the last week or so…I went to my training and we endured a very anxious, very whiny six year old the whole time we were in Little Rock. Then we went to Magnolia to visit family for a few days…it was a roller coaster of a time due mostly to heavy decisions that needed to be made. We came back to Fort Smith and little love was off to her dad for a few days. I worked on papers and notes and cleaned her closet…and did other meaningless but entirely necessary tasks (i.e., the laundry). On Sunday, little love re-entered our world.

A run girl sleeping among a mountain of white blankets.

It was a tough day for me.

I had to tell her father that a decision had been made without him regarding his daughter. I have enough empathy in me that my heart is sad about this. Although he and I were not a good match for the long haul, I know he loves his daughter. It’s a terribly rough moment to look someone in the eye and say,”I’m taking the thing you love best…”

And here we stand in mid-step…seasons changing…confused order…beautiful chaos…

I am trying my hardest to flow and not control…I once had a friend describe these types of moments as a snow globe…it’s like being shaken and just watching all your life’s details float down around you…you hope they land well…and honestly, so far, they have…details are coming together…pleasant surprises have popped up…and love has been all around…

Purple pansies and tulips in a barrel with a watering can in the background.

It’s Sunday evening and as I walk into the house to share a meal with some of my most loved people, I notice my winter pansies dancing around my graceful spring tulips and I smile. Seasons are always changing and they are all beautiful…

 

We are moving and it’s all going to be okay.

Day #70

Have you ever tried to fit a round peg in a square hole? That’s what today felt like …

A new Brooks running shoe, with bright pink and purple colors.After a rest-day yesterday to let my legs heal, my body has been restless to run all day. I did get some new shoes, though, and that is exciting!

I forgot to email my class presentation to myself yesterday, so I was frantically trying to multitask this morning.

I had a session with a pretty uncooperative 5 year old and then went to a group session that consisted of a lot of whining because I made them think

I tore my pantyhose at work and didn’t have time to change them before I had to teach tonight.

I forgot to get my debit card back at dinner and I had to go back to get it which made me almost late for class.

You know, one of those kind of days …

Side view of man in sunglasses driving in a vehicle, wearing a plaid shirt.

But I took a few minutes at lunch to hold hands with my Love and let the sun light my face … and I stopped in awe of the sunset for several moments. I am thankful for the earth today–the way it just is when nothing else falls into place. It’s like the Mother that catches me, dust me off, and sends me on my way… a more grounded and balanced soul.

A pink and purple sunset sky.